yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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