I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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