overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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