I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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