Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
