Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
