You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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