you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think my moral compass just broke
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize