soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
