we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You need a sexual gate keeper
The uberlube is also flammable
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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