hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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