the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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