When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
