Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
