Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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