I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
