On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
