She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
