Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
