New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
