There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize