I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
