There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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