You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
