o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
