so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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