I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
