How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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