She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
