OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
