I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize