i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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