I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
