I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
