The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize