I hate your face
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
