Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Randomize
