My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
