There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
