We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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