We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
