and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
