So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
