i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
True strength comes from lack of pants
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
