ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
