I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
