If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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