I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
