Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
