I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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