Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
