i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
