I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Blood and glitter go together right?
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
