Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
