Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
