whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
