I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
