So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
