just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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