I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
