I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
