I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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