ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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